Everyone's chasing the same thing: higher returns, bigger account balances, and earlier retirement. The spreadsheet says you're winning, so you must be winning, right?

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Except the spreadsheet doesn't track what you're actually losing.

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I know because I lived it.

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I could have retired 10 years earlier if I'd stayed in my first job. The perks of the job and my lifestyle meant I was able to pocket every single paycheque and have $0 expenses.

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Yet I was miserable.

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I was living in towns I didn't know, eating three meals a day alone, staying in hotels, arguing with the people my company was doing business with, sleeping very little, and guzzling coffee trying desperately to replace my mana.

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After two weeks of that, I'd come home exhausted, have a small mountain of laundry to do, and a wife I needed to see. We'd have 48 hours, then I'd be out the door again and back on the road.

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I was stressed all the time, eating junk food, gaining weight, and going grey at 26. Conventional wisdom says I should have kept going because the money was so good.

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And that’s exactly why I question conventional wisdom at Cactus. Because there’s not much wisdom in ruining your life for a future you might never see. 

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Why Only Focusing on Returns Backfires

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When everything is measured in dollars, you'll default to the choice that looks best in a spreadsheet. I see it constantly:

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• "Should we cut everything fun so we can max out every possible account right now?"
• "Isn't it 'smart' to grind harder so we hit that next savings milestone?"
• "Should I change my whole plan because someone online claims 18% returns?"

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Yeah, the spreadsheet loves it. Your nervous system? Not so much. If it ramps up your stress, wrecks your sleep, and costs you relationships, that's not winning. That's just trading one type of poverty for another.

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What Chasing Higher Returns Actually Costs You

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I couldn't wrap my head around why I was miserable when my net worth was skyrocketing. They say it's only a few years in the grand scheme of things: sacrifice now for long-term benefits. Turns out those years might cost more than just time.

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It turns out that a stressful job doesn't just give you grey hair and dark circles under your eyes. Working longer hours and constant stress is literally taking years off your life.¹ Here I was, thinking I was getting ahead financially, but I was actually aging myself faster at the same time. 

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It was the wake-up call I needed to rethink my lifestyle and what was actually important to me. And it’s what inspired me to launch Cactus: because I didn’t want anyone else to have to go through what I did just to discover that feeling like shit all the time isn’t “the new normal.”

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How “Hustle Culture” Affects Your Financial Decisions

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It wasn't just the grey hair and the weight gain. My mood was different during those 48 hours I had at home.

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I didn't want to do anything. Go out to dinner? Nope, I just did that for two weeks straight. Go catch a movie? I just wanted to rest. “It's been a brutal two weeks,” I'd say. For the hundredth time.

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The lack of sleep was wrecking my judgment. I was making decisions that hurt our relationship without even realizing it. Snapping over nothing. Checking out mentally when she needed me present.

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Here's what I didn't understand then: sleep deprivation doesn't just make you cranky. It hijacks your decision-making.² You start making impulsive choices because your brain can't properly evaluate risk anymore.

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Remember scrolling through your phone in the Tim's drive-through, doing that quick search for investment tips, and making changes to your portfolio to get better returns?

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That exhausted, stressed-out brain making financial decisions while you wait for your coffee is the same one that couldn't show up for my wife on a Friday night.

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What to Measure Instead of Just Your Account Balance

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Financial success worships numbers. Net worth. Rate of return. Cash pile. We slap a percentage on your life and call it success. But those numbers ignore everything that actually makes life worth living.

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Let’s look at “Johnny's” spreadsheet for example: $1M net worth, $500K invested. Impressive, right? “Sarah's” numbers look modest by comparison: $200K net worth, $50K in the bank.

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But here's what the spreadsheet doesn't show you: Johnny smokes, drinks too much, sleeps four hours a night, and clenches his jaw through breakfast from stress. Sarah sees her kids every day, takes time off when she needs it, and is genuinely happy.

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Who's actually doing better?

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Real wealth is measured by your quality of life and the impact of your financial decisions, not just balance sheets and annual percentages. 

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How to Build Financial Peace of Mind (Not Just a Bigger Portfolio)

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The goal isn't to be frugal to the point of misery. The goal is to build a plan that funds the life you actually want to live. That means factoring in the emotional stuff alongside the math. Your stress levels, your time, your relationships; these matter just as much as your rate of return.

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Feelings aren't something you should ignore. They're data. Ignore them and you'll sabotage your own plan, just like I almost did.

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So, what does this look like in practice?

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For starters, you want to have an emergency fund. Even having three months of expenses saved can make a big difference. That way, when something breaks, you're annoyed, not panicked. You're not scrambling for a loan or adding to credit card debt. You know the money's there.

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Second, make career choices that give you more freedom, like working from home and maintaining a schedule that lets you see your family more than two days a week. These aren't luxuries. They're the whole point of financial security.

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The Better Metric: Peace-of-Mind ROI

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The two years I spent on the road drastically changed how I view financial success. It's not about the highest numbers. It's about a life that works, one where your mental health, physical health, and financial health all support each other instead of competing.

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When clients ask me how they should invest their money, I ask them:

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• Can you sleep at night if the market drops?
• Is this lifestyle something you can sustain over the long term?
• Are there aspects of your life you wish you could change if money wasn't an issue?

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If your financial plan helps you feel confident and show up for the people who matter most while still hitting your long-term goals, then it’s the right plan for you. Math that ignores your life is just bad math.

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And we're not into bad math at Cactus.

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How Cactus Approaches Financial Planning Differently

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All of this led me to build Cactus around a simple idea: reduce financial stress, consistently make smart moves, and protect the parts of your life that actually make having money worth it in the first place.

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Yes, we optimize your portfolio. No, we don’t sacrifice your sanity to juice every last decimal point.

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If you’d like more money advice that won’t send you spiraling into comparison or glamorize hustle culture, sign up for my weekly email, where I share honest, practical tips and real stories like this one about building a financial plan that actually lets you enjoy your life while saving for your future. 

https://www.prickfree.com/sign-up

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Or, if you’re ready to take the next step, you can schedule a call here: https://www.prickfree.com/contact

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Sources:

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¹ World Health Organization & International Labour Organization (2021). WHO/ILO joint estimates of the work-related burden of disease and injury, 2000–2016: Global monitoring report.

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² Meerlo, P., Sgoifo, A., & Suchecki, D. (2008). Restricted and disrupted sleep: Effects on autonomic function, neuroendocrine stress systems and stress responsivity. Sleep Medicine Reviews, 12(3).

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